Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Hustler's Whore.

This isn't the first time
I've asked for money or love
Heaven and earth
Don't ever mean enough
Speak to me
Of heroin and speed
Just give me something
I can believe
I liked shit better when I was carefree instead of just careless. I liked shit better when I actually had something to believe in. I liked shit better when I could be perfectly happy without being loaded on caffeine or other substances. I liked shit better when everyone I cared about was still around. I liked shit better when I wasnt dropping five dollars every fucking day on a slow suffocating death. I liked shit better when there was something to motivate me. I liked shit better when I felt wanted instead of abandoned. I liked shit better when I didnt give a flying fuck about being judged.
The things I do like, I'm twenty pounds lighter, more confident, and feel like fighting every fucking thing that's making me feel like this pathetic shit bag i've been turning into.
I don't want to be anyone's fucking bitch ever again.
Whenever the hell I manage to hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up.

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