- I was tickling Christine (my store manager), she began to pour Smirnoff Ice on my crotch. I thought it was my phone vibrating. She then began to try and wipe it off.
- Witnessing this event, Brenton didn't know what to do. He ran away into the kitchen.
- I drunkly whipped out my phone, and created a text to Batman. "Christine just poured vagina on my vodka." He didn't respond. I'm sure when I'm sober I will apologize, but I am still much faded.
- Joker text me and said, "you are a cruel, cruel temptress." I laughed and replied, "Honey, please. If I weren't the cruel temptress I am, I wouldn't be the bitch I live up to be, now would I?"
- I told RJ my store manager poured smirnoff in my vagina. He asked, "What the fuck are you pouring vodka in your kaslapus for?" I replied, "It's not really there, she spilled it on my drink. I mean, my crotch." He said back, "I just got an image of you with your vag propped up and people pouring alcohol in it. Whooo let's play vag pong."
- My pants are in the wash as we speak. So are my underwear. The vodka got to them, too.
- I am still drunk, and no, I will not remember texting you in the morning.
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