Showing posts with label monster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monster. Show all posts

Thursday, September 11, 2008

the DEVIL does EXIST! AHHH!



So lately, now that school and work have gotten back into full stride, ive been fucking crashing real hard at random parts of the day. Like in the middle of a discussion with a friend, or in the middle of a discussion at school, just important times to me that i should be awake when im not.

Luckily i have been reacquainted to the devil. Me and the Devil have had a lot of history. I met em when i was around thirteen, i believe whilst i was skateboarding with a buddy around. The Devil stated to me,

"Eddie! Yo! Wassup MOFO! you want to be able to ollie this five stair? HUH! DO YOU! Well you better let me help you out! i only cost around 3 bucks, and i taste DE-FUCKING-LICIOUS!!! So lets GET GOING!!!!" He said that shit in like a wierd semi-canadian semi-new-yorker accent.

So i went inside to one of the maaaany places that the devil likes to rest at, pulled him out of his ICECAVE, gave the clerk my three hard earned allowance dollars, and i took him all in.

I instantly felt wonderful, i felt like i could run for a million and a half hours. Fer real. Than i went to that five stair, and after my first attempt,(push-push-push-ollie-land-roll-away) i landed that five stair.

If you dont know what the devil is, its fucking energy drinks. They always offer me a quick way outta shit for a little bit of myself. ie, when im tired, and falling asleep at school, i go out to the cafeteria and cop a 24oz rockstar(SUGAR-FREE FTW), down that and feel great, i feel like i have EXUBERANT AMOUNTS OF ENERGY!!!! SO then my day goes great the rest of the day.
If i have a head ache, i pop open a can of Lo-Carb Monster, the blue one for you noobs, and drink that, WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM, my headache is gone.

The point being energy drinks help me function, but do they actually help me fucntion or do they fuel my addiction? Caffeine is one of the most addicting things on the planet, go ahead and tell your mom there is no coffee, see what happens, and to take a saying from Pringles, Once you pop the fun dont stop, until you need another one. But my question for you to think about is how did you hear about energy drinks? No seriously think about the last time you saw a commercial or an ad for an energy drink? Go ahead ill wait.... They dont exist. The only thing that they get there advertisements from is going to concerts, sponsoring EXTREME!!!!!!!! sports, sponsoring MMA fighters, sponsor sponsor sponsor.

Wow, id never think that i would fall to corporate sponsorship, i make fun of corrina and call her an advertisers dream, when on the real... i am.

this is my decleration of independence against the tyrant that is ENERGY DRINKS!!!

I am not going to drink you for a week. cold turkey. ill update you guys as it goes, and im also going to try and limit caffeine all together. Well wish me good luck.