- To get promoted, I had to go through a test. The training director got out of her car, and she starts walking over. I look at Christine and say, "why is it that NOW I have to poop?" She just continued to look out the window.
- After my promotion got approved and she left, I looked at Christine and said, "I seriously almost threw up on her," and she asked why. I said, "shit like that makes me want to throw up.. I can barely handle a math test."
- RJ and I went to school with a girl with a beard. I thought I saw her in IV and said, "oh my god wtf is bearded lady doing here," then noticing it wasn't her I added, "oh nevermind, it was just someone as ugly."
- I told Ayleen I was going to make a rap about being a shift lead, and that she should make one about being a GSR, and then I thought to myself, "I'm a shift lead, L-E-A-D! I boss people around and I got my own keys! I can take an hour lunch, cause bitch you won't care.." And then I had to count candy.
- People kept asking about why there were post its on all the candy. I informed them of inventory, and they'd say, "oooh that sucks," and then I'd inform them about how I wasn't doing it, and they'd say it again. It confused me.
Showing posts with label lady miss lately. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lady miss lately. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Most Airbourne Week Ever
- I was at the airport, where I thought I saw David Haselhoff. I looked at the guy next to me and asked, "hey, is that David Haselhoff behind us?" He nodded and said, "Yes, and every five minutes I'm going to say Haselhoff to see you freak out again." He was cute. He looked like Ed Norton. I later got a pic with the Hoff. Will post later.
- I was talking to my stepdad, Bryan, and some drunk guy poured him more wine, and spilled it a bit. The drunk guy goes, "oh, sorry about your spillage." Bryan replies, "it happens to the best of us." I slam my head on the table and yell, "that's what she said!"
- My mom takes two shots of slivovica, and I tell RJ, "My mom just took two shots of slivovica at the same time, and that's 180 proof, oh shit, she's going for a third." He says, "I wish I was there to drink some sloppyvaginica with you!" I laughed and he said, "with something that strong, it's gotta be called that."
- My mother and I are looking at the DSW website. I didn't feel like clicking next page fourty-two times so I clicked see all, and my computer froze. My mother said, "that wasn't a good idea." I looked at her and said, "but waiting for it to load to see 686 shoes all at the same time is."
- Trista, the woman I met and befriended on the plane said, "this whole no more than 3.4 ounces of liquid on planes is bullshit. All it takes is two drops of cyanide, and you can get a mask from the people down there." I thought about it, and damn was she right.
- Sarah Morrison's blackberry trackball is falling out. It reminded me of the time when RJ's fell out. I then realized how miserable the woman must be.
- I convinced my Aunt Jacci to get a blackberry curve. I asked her how she liked it. She said, "I don't know it 100% yet. It's an intimidating device."
- I called Ryan to tell him about the Hoff. He said, "WHAT WHAT NO WAY. LIES." So I sent him a picture of a picture. It was fuzzy and pixelated, but no matter what condition any form of image of the Hoff is, you know it's the Hoff.
- Later, Christine sent me a picture of Anaconda 3 with David Haselhoff. I lol'd.
- Bryan kept trying to get me to smoke in front of my mother. My mother looked at him with a death glare. He stopped.
- My mother put too much food on Bryan's plate, and he couldn't finish it all. I looked at him and said, "you better find a way to finish that or my mother is going to cut your balls off." Two minutes later, my mother is found screaming at him.
- I look at the darts in my mom's room, and shrug, perplexed. Ernie says, "she's on a dart team. She made some woman cry." I didn't know what to say, so I looked at my mother and said, "you're like the Sarah Palin of darts."
- My aunt Jacci just recently got a breast reduction surgery, as did I about a year and a half ago. I tell her, "you can't buy underwire bras." She looked at me and said, "no, I'm allowed." I said, "no, it's not that you're not allowed, it's that when they do the surgery they make your boobs perky, and when you wear underwire your boobs push out evenmore and they're titties on a hammock." Her and my mom looked at me, and their jaws dropped.
- I was talking to my stepdad, Bryan, and some drunk guy poured him more wine, and spilled it a bit. The drunk guy goes, "oh, sorry about your spillage." Bryan replies, "it happens to the best of us." I slam my head on the table and yell, "that's what she said!"
- My mom takes two shots of slivovica, and I tell RJ, "My mom just took two shots of slivovica at the same time, and that's 180 proof, oh shit, she's going for a third." He says, "I wish I was there to drink some sloppyvaginica with you!" I laughed and he said, "with something that strong, it's gotta be called that."
- My mother and I are looking at the DSW website. I didn't feel like clicking next page fourty-two times so I clicked see all, and my computer froze. My mother said, "that wasn't a good idea." I looked at her and said, "but waiting for it to load to see 686 shoes all at the same time is."
- Trista, the woman I met and befriended on the plane said, "this whole no more than 3.4 ounces of liquid on planes is bullshit. All it takes is two drops of cyanide, and you can get a mask from the people down there." I thought about it, and damn was she right.
- Sarah Morrison's blackberry trackball is falling out. It reminded me of the time when RJ's fell out. I then realized how miserable the woman must be.
- I convinced my Aunt Jacci to get a blackberry curve. I asked her how she liked it. She said, "I don't know it 100% yet. It's an intimidating device."
- I called Ryan to tell him about the Hoff. He said, "WHAT WHAT NO WAY. LIES." So I sent him a picture of a picture. It was fuzzy and pixelated, but no matter what condition any form of image of the Hoff is, you know it's the Hoff.
- Later, Christine sent me a picture of Anaconda 3 with David Haselhoff. I lol'd.
- Bryan kept trying to get me to smoke in front of my mother. My mother looked at him with a death glare. He stopped.
- My mother put too much food on Bryan's plate, and he couldn't finish it all. I looked at him and said, "you better find a way to finish that or my mother is going to cut your balls off." Two minutes later, my mother is found screaming at him.
- I look at the darts in my mom's room, and shrug, perplexed. Ernie says, "she's on a dart team. She made some woman cry." I didn't know what to say, so I looked at my mother and said, "you're like the Sarah Palin of darts."
- My aunt Jacci just recently got a breast reduction surgery, as did I about a year and a half ago. I tell her, "you can't buy underwire bras." She looked at me and said, "no, I'm allowed." I said, "no, it's not that you're not allowed, it's that when they do the surgery they make your boobs perky, and when you wear underwire your boobs push out evenmore and they're titties on a hammock." Her and my mom looked at me, and their jaws dropped.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Longest Work Week Ever
- I am thankful for all the people of Goleta NOT coming to Hollywood Video between the hours of 4-10PM on Thanksgiving, therefore letting us close an hour early. But you didn't hear that. I am NOT thankful, however, of the asshole who came in and screamed, "YOU'RE THE ONLY PLACE OPEN IN TOWN!"
- A customer came in to rent some movies. I noticed her last name was Morrison. I asked, "Are you related to Sarah Morrison?" She replies, "No, I don't think so." I sigh and go, "You must not be on the internet much." She took her change and walked away very confused.
- I see a picture on the internet comparing John Travolta and Xenu and how much they look a like. Now I wonder, did John Travolta shave his head to look like Xenu, or was it just a coincidence?
- I'm sitting on the floor looking through the bins and watching Dex play Animal Crossing. I find a spider in the corner of one. I squeal and get up, "hold on, I'm going to drown this thing with Windex."
- I inform Joker that I made brownies, and that it's too bad that we don't have any weed. He gets really excited, and wants some, but has no weed. I tell him, "sorry, I'll make you brownies when I get paid." He is slightly offended and says he will remember this.
- Dexter and I drive around downtown Santa Barbara going to random ATMs seeing if maybe one of them will let me overdraft. I glare at the last ATM and ask it, "why is it that when I WANT the bank to let me overdraft, it won't let me?"
- I look at my account statement, and IM Dexter, knowing that he is asleep. "There is a random $96.00 fee that came out of nowhere. I would really like to know where it came from. Well, there goes Linda Vista."
- I am now livid that a $96.00 fee came out of nowhere. This means no Linda Vista, and I REALLY have to save the shit out of my paycheck.
- A customer came in to rent some movies. I noticed her last name was Morrison. I asked, "Are you related to Sarah Morrison?" She replies, "No, I don't think so." I sigh and go, "You must not be on the internet much." She took her change and walked away very confused.
- I see a picture on the internet comparing John Travolta and Xenu and how much they look a like. Now I wonder, did John Travolta shave his head to look like Xenu, or was it just a coincidence?
- I'm sitting on the floor looking through the bins and watching Dex play Animal Crossing. I find a spider in the corner of one. I squeal and get up, "hold on, I'm going to drown this thing with Windex."
- I inform Joker that I made brownies, and that it's too bad that we don't have any weed. He gets really excited, and wants some, but has no weed. I tell him, "sorry, I'll make you brownies when I get paid." He is slightly offended and says he will remember this.
- Dexter and I drive around downtown Santa Barbara going to random ATMs seeing if maybe one of them will let me overdraft. I glare at the last ATM and ask it, "why is it that when I WANT the bank to let me overdraft, it won't let me?"
- I look at my account statement, and IM Dexter, knowing that he is asleep. "There is a random $96.00 fee that came out of nowhere. I would really like to know where it came from. Well, there goes Linda Vista."
- I am now livid that a $96.00 fee came out of nowhere. This means no Linda Vista, and I REALLY have to save the shit out of my paycheck.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Quickest Week Ever
- I looked over at Harry Potter and asked, "are you drunk?" He simply laughed in reply.
- Amber and I founded a new disease.
- Christine had just finished telling me the Hollywood Video Poopy Pants Story. She concluded it with, "and she was a Brooks student." I laughed.
- Dex looked at me and said, "you know when ants go in the hole of the stove because someone dropped a macaroni and cheese noodle in there, and you can set them on fire?" I automatically got an image of Dexter laughing evilly and setting ants on fire.
- I did my laundry at three in the morning. Why? Because I can.
- I was doing the close out, when it asked me for the weather, rain/no rain, and temperature. I really wanted to put, "snowy, no rain, 110*F." Christine told me not to do so. I was depressed. Andrew did it all the time. Does this mean Andrew fucks up Hollywood Video's statistics? I hope so.
- I forgot my cell phone inside the store after Christine had set the alarm. We had to re-enter the store and call Checkpoint. "Yeah, sorry, I had to re-enter the store because I forgot my car keys." I was laughing hysterically in the background.
- I told my mom she was a fucking whore. She replied, "do NOT call me a fucking whore," so I said, "whore whore whore whore." She then got angry, and I hung up before she could respond.
- Dex and I paid for cigarettes in change today. We had never felt so successful in our lives.
- Amber and I founded a new disease.
- Christine had just finished telling me the Hollywood Video Poopy Pants Story. She concluded it with, "and she was a Brooks student." I laughed.
- Dex looked at me and said, "you know when ants go in the hole of the stove because someone dropped a macaroni and cheese noodle in there, and you can set them on fire?" I automatically got an image of Dexter laughing evilly and setting ants on fire.
- I did my laundry at three in the morning. Why? Because I can.
- I was doing the close out, when it asked me for the weather, rain/no rain, and temperature. I really wanted to put, "snowy, no rain, 110*F." Christine told me not to do so. I was depressed. Andrew did it all the time. Does this mean Andrew fucks up Hollywood Video's statistics? I hope so.
- I forgot my cell phone inside the store after Christine had set the alarm. We had to re-enter the store and call Checkpoint. "Yeah, sorry, I had to re-enter the store because I forgot my car keys." I was laughing hysterically in the background.
- I told my mom she was a fucking whore. She replied, "do NOT call me a fucking whore," so I said, "whore whore whore whore." She then got angry, and I hung up before she could respond.
- Dex and I paid for cigarettes in change today. We had never felt so successful in our lives.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Longest Week Ever
- RJ looked at his phone on election day, and then told me, "Facebook is turning into a political twitter."
- I hugged Christine and asked, "What does your tit smell like? Fantasy by Britney Spears?" She backed away, almost offended, "No, I would never wear her! This is Paris Hilton."
- My blackberry was spazzing out, and I didn't know what to do. RJ suggested, "why don't you ask Sarah Morrison?" I thought about it: if there was a blackberry god, it'd probably be her.
- I was driving home when I got a sudden text from RJ, "Lauren just threw a Sarah Palin at me on the internet." I somehow expected it.
- Chris pointed at Herman Li, "he just licked his guitar."
- I was on the phone with Tony, and Christine kept saying, "hey Tony, hey Tony!" I laughed and said, "Tony, I think my smgr is flirting with you via phone." He laughed. I felt him blushing through the phone.
- "Tati, I'll call you back, got a few complicated customers." I thought for a minute.. "Tony, do you even have this number?" He replied, "hehehehehe no."
- I brought a screwdriver to work (except it was Tampico instead of orange juice), and set it to the side for the floor cleaning later, that way I could drink it and somehow survive the five hours of shit. Christine saw it, took a big gulp, and had a shocked look on her face, "THAT IS NOT ORANGE JUICE." I lol'd.
- I fell asleep on the counter at about three in the morning. I woke up at four and quickly wiped the drool before anyone could see it.
- I hugged Christine and asked, "What does your tit smell like? Fantasy by Britney Spears?" She backed away, almost offended, "No, I would never wear her! This is Paris Hilton."
- My blackberry was spazzing out, and I didn't know what to do. RJ suggested, "why don't you ask Sarah Morrison?" I thought about it: if there was a blackberry god, it'd probably be her.
- I was driving home when I got a sudden text from RJ, "Lauren just threw a Sarah Palin at me on the internet." I somehow expected it.
- Chris pointed at Herman Li, "he just licked his guitar."
- I was on the phone with Tony, and Christine kept saying, "hey Tony, hey Tony!" I laughed and said, "Tony, I think my smgr is flirting with you via phone." He laughed. I felt him blushing through the phone.
- "Tati, I'll call you back, got a few complicated customers." I thought for a minute.. "Tony, do you even have this number?" He replied, "hehehehehe no."
- I brought a screwdriver to work (except it was Tampico instead of orange juice), and set it to the side for the floor cleaning later, that way I could drink it and somehow survive the five hours of shit. Christine saw it, took a big gulp, and had a shocked look on her face, "THAT IS NOT ORANGE JUICE." I lol'd.
- I fell asleep on the counter at about three in the morning. I woke up at four and quickly wiped the drool before anyone could see it.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Most LOL WHUT Week Ever.
- Christine informs her mother of my breast reduction surgery. Her mother pulls me closer, and lifts up my shirt and bra screaming, "LET ME LOOK AT THOSE!"
- A significant amount of time later, Christine's mother and I are in the kitchen, standing by the refrigerator. She looks at me and yells, "Do you know the definition of close to perfect?" I was confused on what she was talking about, so I shrugged. She yelled, "YOUR BREASTS." I didn't know what to say.
- Sarah Morrison and I were talking on BBM. She said, "I had two people still bummed out I was going home so early at 5:30am. There's a huge difference between bars closing at two and four." I replied, "It's 5:30am! And you're sober! You have every right to want to go home." She says, "Oh and they never stop selling alcohol. Never." We both come to the conclusion that LA is ridiculous.
- I asked Sarah, "Why did you move to New York anyways?" She said, "to get a real writing job." I replied, "Oh Sarah. Best Week Ever will pwn any novel. No need for this real writing job." I then told her that somebody is now going to make a chick flick out of her moving to NY, like the opposite of Men in Trees. She asks, "Are you saying I should move to Alaska?"
- It was two in the morning. I text Christine, "I just woke up wanting a Freebirds burrito." I always want Freebirds when nobody else can go. I also told Christine I just woke up so she didn't think I was crazy.
- Daniel calls me at three in the morning, "I CAN'T SLEEP." I reply, "I was about to." He goes, "Oh, you were online on Myspace. All right, go to bed. Good night." Little does he know, I live on the internet and I'm online everywhere.
- I hint to Sarah about my wanting to run away to Australia. She said, "My brother went for some semester abroad there and hasn't been the same since, it was kinda awesome. Probably the kangaroos." Sarah is right. Kangaroos change lives, fa sho.
- A significant amount of time later, Christine's mother and I are in the kitchen, standing by the refrigerator. She looks at me and yells, "Do you know the definition of close to perfect?" I was confused on what she was talking about, so I shrugged. She yelled, "YOUR BREASTS." I didn't know what to say.
- Sarah Morrison and I were talking on BBM. She said, "I had two people still bummed out I was going home so early at 5:30am. There's a huge difference between bars closing at two and four." I replied, "It's 5:30am! And you're sober! You have every right to want to go home." She says, "Oh and they never stop selling alcohol. Never." We both come to the conclusion that LA is ridiculous.
- I asked Sarah, "Why did you move to New York anyways?" She said, "to get a real writing job." I replied, "Oh Sarah. Best Week Ever will pwn any novel. No need for this real writing job." I then told her that somebody is now going to make a chick flick out of her moving to NY, like the opposite of Men in Trees. She asks, "Are you saying I should move to Alaska?"
- It was two in the morning. I text Christine, "I just woke up wanting a Freebirds burrito." I always want Freebirds when nobody else can go. I also told Christine I just woke up so she didn't think I was crazy.
- Daniel calls me at three in the morning, "I CAN'T SLEEP." I reply, "I was about to." He goes, "Oh, you were online on Myspace. All right, go to bed. Good night." Little does he know, I live on the internet and I'm online everywhere.
- I hint to Sarah about my wanting to run away to Australia. She said, "My brother went for some semester abroad there and hasn't been the same since, it was kinda awesome. Probably the kangaroos." Sarah is right. Kangaroos change lives, fa sho.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Laziest Week Ever.
- I told RJ about some personal quotes Jodie Foster had. He said, "She's fairy god-kick ass auntie. Like really, I'm scared Jodie Foster would kick my ass." I replied, "Well Jodie enjoys kickboxing, yoga, karate, and fancy kitchenware." He then said, "You know what? If anything, she's going to kick my ass with the fancy kitchenware."
- I woke up at three yesterday. I ate ramen, and went to work. Then I watched people play video games.
- Maiove made a Facebook, and added me. I text her and said, "Yay! You made a facebook!" She replied, "I forgot the password already."
- I text Kevin when I woke up, "Weirdest dream ever." He asked, "Was it reality based, or just fantasy?" I sighed and said, "Let's just put it this way. I convinced you to go to a rave and we got REALLY fucked up. Take it from there." He still has not replied.
- At work, Batman and I were watching the behind the scenes for the new Indiana Jones movie. George Lucas said, "I really wanted it to be called Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men." Both of our jaws dropped. Batman grabbed the remote and said, "I need to rewind this shit, because I cannot fucking believe he just said that."
- Hannah Hayworth came to Hollywood Video last night. She handed me a piece of gum. "Here's for now," and another, "here's for later," and another, "and here's for even later." I didn't say anything.
- Hannah informed me that she's moving to Monteceito. All I could say was "DDDDAAAAMMMNN GGGIIIRRRRRRLLL." I wonder if she'll be living near Oprah.
- In a video game we were playing last night (which will remain untitled because it hasn't been released yet), we made an amazing "railway rifle," out of a crutch, pressure cooker, railroad pins, a motor from a lawn mower, and a pilot light. It was the most badass thing on the planet.
- I woke up at three yesterday. I ate ramen, and went to work. Then I watched people play video games.
- Maiove made a Facebook, and added me. I text her and said, "Yay! You made a facebook!" She replied, "I forgot the password already."
- I text Kevin when I woke up, "Weirdest dream ever." He asked, "Was it reality based, or just fantasy?" I sighed and said, "Let's just put it this way. I convinced you to go to a rave and we got REALLY fucked up. Take it from there." He still has not replied.
- At work, Batman and I were watching the behind the scenes for the new Indiana Jones movie. George Lucas said, "I really wanted it to be called Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men." Both of our jaws dropped. Batman grabbed the remote and said, "I need to rewind this shit, because I cannot fucking believe he just said that."
- Hannah Hayworth came to Hollywood Video last night. She handed me a piece of gum. "Here's for now," and another, "here's for later," and another, "and here's for even later." I didn't say anything.
- Hannah informed me that she's moving to Monteceito. All I could say was "DDDDAAAAMMMNN GGGIIIRRRRRRLLL." I wonder if she'll be living near Oprah.
- In a video game we were playing last night (which will remain untitled because it hasn't been released yet), we made an amazing "railway rifle," out of a crutch, pressure cooker, railroad pins, a motor from a lawn mower, and a pilot light. It was the most badass thing on the planet.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Drunkest Night Ever.
- I was tickling Christine (my store manager), she began to pour Smirnoff Ice on my crotch. I thought it was my phone vibrating. She then began to try and wipe it off.
- Witnessing this event, Brenton didn't know what to do. He ran away into the kitchen.
- I drunkly whipped out my phone, and created a text to Batman. "Christine just poured vagina on my vodka." He didn't respond. I'm sure when I'm sober I will apologize, but I am still much faded.
- Joker text me and said, "you are a cruel, cruel temptress." I laughed and replied, "Honey, please. If I weren't the cruel temptress I am, I wouldn't be the bitch I live up to be, now would I?"
- I told RJ my store manager poured smirnoff in my vagina. He asked, "What the fuck are you pouring vodka in your kaslapus for?" I replied, "It's not really there, she spilled it on my drink. I mean, my crotch." He said back, "I just got an image of you with your vag propped up and people pouring alcohol in it. Whooo let's play vag pong."
- My pants are in the wash as we speak. So are my underwear. The vodka got to them, too.
- I am still drunk, and no, I will not remember texting you in the morning.
- Witnessing this event, Brenton didn't know what to do. He ran away into the kitchen.
- I drunkly whipped out my phone, and created a text to Batman. "Christine just poured vagina on my vodka." He didn't respond. I'm sure when I'm sober I will apologize, but I am still much faded.
- Joker text me and said, "you are a cruel, cruel temptress." I laughed and replied, "Honey, please. If I weren't the cruel temptress I am, I wouldn't be the bitch I live up to be, now would I?"
- I told RJ my store manager poured smirnoff in my vagina. He asked, "What the fuck are you pouring vodka in your kaslapus for?" I replied, "It's not really there, she spilled it on my drink. I mean, my crotch." He said back, "I just got an image of you with your vag propped up and people pouring alcohol in it. Whooo let's play vag pong."
- My pants are in the wash as we speak. So are my underwear. The vodka got to them, too.
- I am still drunk, and no, I will not remember texting you in the morning.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Longest Week Ever
So I'm a little late, shut up.
- I informed Trash Nasty it was 4chan's birthday. He says, "I'm listening to Rilo Kiley so much, I feel like I'm turning into Colleen." I respond, "You're the male Colleen. Maleen."
- I get a voicemail from Daniel, "The shit REALLY hit the fan, Tati. It really did. But don't worry, I'm still coming to Robotech." I was calmed down.
- I did a countdown meme on Facebook, and one area, I put: "No really, I'm your biggest fan ever." This was directed to Robert Downey Jr. In the same area, I put "I'm screwed, what do I do?" Chris Poulsen replies, "THE ONLY ONE THAT I THINK APPLIES TO ME IS NUMBER 9... THANX, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU THOUGHT I WAS COOLER THAN TONY STARK. ALSO THE ANSWER TO NUMBER ONE IS PRESS Z OR R TWICE." This is a barrel roll.
- Christine said, "It's past your bedtime." I laughed and said, "I don't sleep anymore, remember?"
- I told my twin [she's my twin that's like, four years older than me] "Honestly, NorCal > SoCal in terms of sex. But, Norcal < SoCal in terms of Cactus Cooler."
- I haven't slept in a week.
- Last night my senses were all fucked up due to being sick. I ate one of everything in my refrigerator. I forgot I was eating because I couldn't taste.
- I informed Trash Nasty it was 4chan's birthday. He says, "I'm listening to Rilo Kiley so much, I feel like I'm turning into Colleen." I respond, "You're the male Colleen. Maleen."
- I get a voicemail from Daniel, "The shit REALLY hit the fan, Tati. It really did. But don't worry, I'm still coming to Robotech." I was calmed down.
- I did a countdown meme on Facebook, and one area, I put: "No really, I'm your biggest fan ever." This was directed to Robert Downey Jr. In the same area, I put "I'm screwed, what do I do?" Chris Poulsen replies, "THE ONLY ONE THAT I THINK APPLIES TO ME IS NUMBER 9... THANX, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU THOUGHT I WAS COOLER THAN TONY STARK. ALSO THE ANSWER TO NUMBER ONE IS PRESS Z OR R TWICE." This is a barrel roll.
- Christine said, "It's past your bedtime." I laughed and said, "I don't sleep anymore, remember?"
- I told my twin [she's my twin that's like, four years older than me] "Honestly, NorCal > SoCal in terms of sex. But, Norcal < SoCal in terms of Cactus Cooler."
- I haven't slept in a week.
- Last night my senses were all fucked up due to being sick. I ate one of everything in my refrigerator. I forgot I was eating because I couldn't taste.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Weirdest Week Ever
- Ryan sent me a picture of a spider to my phone. I hide under my blanket and cried for an hour. Ever since, I've been feeling my brain pour out of my head.
- I BBM'd my mom, "The ants think they can fool me by making themselves bigger. When I spray them with windex, it ends up it's just two ants together." My mother replies, "Ftw." I respond, "HOW IS THAT FTW? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?" She replies, "Yes, I'm not stupid."
- I ask my mom if she's going to change her last name when she gets married. She tells me she might hyphen it. I tell her no, that'll be too long. I share this with RJ, he replies, "At least she's not marring a Thai. Could you imagine? Vejnovic-Supattanuhangrirogosh."
- Only Colbert can put zombie and stock market in the same sentence.
- I ask Kyle where my mind is. He says he doesn't know. I reply, "Hmmmm. Blargh." He says, "Hmmm indeed." I then say, "Blarrrrrggghhh errrrrkk." We continue to text each other random sounds for the next five minutes.
- At four in the morning, Cody asks me, "when are you coming over tonight?" He doesn't recall asking this hours later.
- I spent two hours reading a book on DNA yesterday. I'm officially a nerd.
- I BBM'd my mom, "The ants think they can fool me by making themselves bigger. When I spray them with windex, it ends up it's just two ants together." My mother replies, "Ftw." I respond, "HOW IS THAT FTW? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?" She replies, "Yes, I'm not stupid."
- I ask my mom if she's going to change her last name when she gets married. She tells me she might hyphen it. I tell her no, that'll be too long. I share this with RJ, he replies, "At least she's not marring a Thai. Could you imagine? Vejnovic-Supattanuhangrirogosh."
- Only Colbert can put zombie and stock market in the same sentence.
- I ask Kyle where my mind is. He says he doesn't know. I reply, "Hmmmm. Blargh." He says, "Hmmm indeed." I then say, "Blarrrrrggghhh errrrrkk." We continue to text each other random sounds for the next five minutes.
- At four in the morning, Cody asks me, "when are you coming over tonight?" He doesn't recall asking this hours later.
- I spent two hours reading a book on DNA yesterday. I'm officially a nerd.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Lady Miss Sonic's Best Week Ever
Best Week Ever is not my creation, Sarah Morrison created this fabulous thing, and her's is much more fun to read.
- We were all outside talking about the military. Sky Darling says, "I would always love to join the military.. just because of my name. 'Darling!' And I'd reply, 'I love it when you call me that, Sir!' It'd be hilarious."
- I walked into work and saw the new Entertainment Weekly magazine. I picked it up, and Christine looked at me and said, "I thought you'd want to cut out this," she pointed to the little Robert Downey Jr. cartoon Iron Man in the magazine. "You're right," I said, and proceeded to cut it out. It's now on my refrigerator.
- "I parked in that apartment complex over there, and it seemed to be okay," Kyle said. The next day, his car was covered in "THIS ISN'T YOUR SPOT, MOVE OR ELSE," signs.
- Speed Racer came out on Tuesday. It bought it on Blu-Ray, and then spun around in the office chair in Hollywood Video yelling racing noises and claiming I was Speed Racer. Jeremy said, "Tatjana, I love you because you're the most entertaining person I've ever met."
- Sky forgot her ID and got carded, she leaned over the counter, took off her sunglasses and said, "Do I look under eighteen to you? I'm nineteen years old. June 10th, 1989. Now sell me those cigarettes." The gross old clerk sold her the cigarettes and asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Yes, I do." And with that, she walked out.
- It seemed like ten minutes when we realized we had been laying on the stairs smoking cigarettes for thirty minutes. Kyle cheerfully added, "WE BE CHAIN SMOKIN!"
- We all quietly sat around smoking cigarettes. Josh lift up his foot and said, "QUICK HIGH FIVE!" Sky high fived his foot.
- I signed onto Blackberry Messenger, and messaged RJ: "No more vowels.. I gtt frt hll bd." He replied, "mthrfckr tlr s mkng m hll l8 fr rc's prty." I replied, "Whs rc?" And I still wonder: Who's RC? I can't even add vowels to that to make that a person's name.
- RJ said, "Wake me up when everybody stops being stupid." I stared at my phone, and blinked. Was I supposed to wake him up? I never did.
- We were all outside talking about the military. Sky Darling says, "I would always love to join the military.. just because of my name. 'Darling!' And I'd reply, 'I love it when you call me that, Sir!' It'd be hilarious."
- I walked into work and saw the new Entertainment Weekly magazine. I picked it up, and Christine looked at me and said, "I thought you'd want to cut out this," she pointed to the little Robert Downey Jr. cartoon Iron Man in the magazine. "You're right," I said, and proceeded to cut it out. It's now on my refrigerator.
- "I parked in that apartment complex over there, and it seemed to be okay," Kyle said. The next day, his car was covered in "THIS ISN'T YOUR SPOT, MOVE OR ELSE," signs.
- Speed Racer came out on Tuesday. It bought it on Blu-Ray, and then spun around in the office chair in Hollywood Video yelling racing noises and claiming I was Speed Racer. Jeremy said, "Tatjana, I love you because you're the most entertaining person I've ever met."
- Sky forgot her ID and got carded, she leaned over the counter, took off her sunglasses and said, "Do I look under eighteen to you? I'm nineteen years old. June 10th, 1989. Now sell me those cigarettes." The gross old clerk sold her the cigarettes and asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Yes, I do." And with that, she walked out.
- It seemed like ten minutes when we realized we had been laying on the stairs smoking cigarettes for thirty minutes. Kyle cheerfully added, "WE BE CHAIN SMOKIN!"
- We all quietly sat around smoking cigarettes. Josh lift up his foot and said, "QUICK HIGH FIVE!" Sky high fived his foot.
- I signed onto Blackberry Messenger, and messaged RJ: "No more vowels.. I gtt frt hll bd." He replied, "mthrfckr tlr s mkng m hll l8 fr rc's prty." I replied, "Whs rc?" And I still wonder: Who's RC? I can't even add vowels to that to make that a person's name.
- RJ said, "Wake me up when everybody stops being stupid." I stared at my phone, and blinked. Was I supposed to wake him up? I never did.
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