Pure emotion

I just finished reading Fight Club for the first time, and I have to say....I agree. I've never seen the movie, and I never intended to, and I probably won't, it always struck me as something that would be very annoying.

I haven't done anything stupid in some time, and I must say that I almost forgot the real reason why I used to do stupid things. I haven't had the urge to do these things, I must have unlearned it at some point. This book has reminded me of that reason. I am remembering the absolute clearness of having total control of life and death. The kind of control that breaks through every single thought in one's mind. The empty and fullness of emotions that tunnel through one's entire plane of being, the steady beating of the heart and rising and falling of the chest, the crisp rapid succession thoughts, tangents, trains that race each other around and around in the brain, heading for each other, never crashing.

absoluteness might be a feeling worth doing these things again. We'll see.