MOAR INTERNETZ

WE HAZ MOVED.

2009-04-01T23:33:00.000-07:00

http://needsmoarinternetz.wordpress.com/

Add it to your bookmarks, folks. We will be posting there from now on.

My Best Friend Got Toad Roll'd.

2009-03-20T20:02:00.001-07:00

Lean vs. Skinny

2009-03-16T11:41:00.001-07:00

This is the worst thing in the world, when you call me skinny. im not skinny. im lean. lean means you have meat to your bones but a low fat content, skinny means your skin an bones, hence the name "skin"ny. i shall demonstrate with picures:

lean steak:

skinny steak:

the carne asada is really thin and skinny, while the buffalo is thick but with little fat on it. thats the difference.

LOLWEED.

2009-03-08T01:02:00.000-08:00

Because we all know it's so true.

Is it Johann or John?

2009-03-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

In my kiniesiology class we were discussing founding fathers of PE, and we talked about Johann Basedow. and a light went off in my head, what if Fitness Made Simple supermegastar John Basedow is his kin? OR! If John Basedow just took Johann Basedows name and likeness. WTF!!!! Twilight Zone man...

THIS GUY IS MY HERO.

2009-03-03T00:13:00.001-08:00

UNDERMYUMBRELLAAAAA.

This guy rocks my socks, no joke. Go subscribe to him.

It is ricockulous

2009-03-02T12:01:00.000-08:00

I was at costco buying alcohol and nacho stuff and we walked past the meat section, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. thats all i can say, they must have had over 200 dead cows and at least the same pigs, i didnt see any chicken, but the had a good 100 fish and seacritters. it makes me irritated because half of all of these animals just got slaughtered and are going to end up in the garbage anyway, wtf dude.

So There's These Guys...

2009-02-26T21:10:00.000-08:00

If you're looking for an alternative to The Whitest Kids You Know, or mearly looking for something to make you giggle OR if you wanna just offend someone over the age of 35 these are the guys for you. Currently they're just starting out and have four videos up.
The group consists of Adam Williams (camera man/ actor/ editor), Matthew Warren (actor/ assistant camera man), Kyle DiAngelo (writer/ actor) and Kyle Warren (writer/ director/ actor). Together they all produce, direct and Improv status write the hilarious Family Man status PSA's. Check em' out. You won't be disappointed! Oh Oh and if you REALLY like them you can buy mugs and undies and stuff with the main character/kyle warren's alter-ego Dr. Howard Cliffton and the wasteland logo at www.cafepress.com/wastelandstuff soooo, yea... peace outters LOVES YA ALL p.s. I drunnnnken

OH HONEY.

2009-02-23T07:19:00.000-08:00

Am I the only one who finds Kiefer screaming in agony extremely fucking attractive?

COME TO MY HOUSE AFTER DAY 7 AND I'LL MAKE IT A GOOD DAY, BABY.

Oh 4chan..

2009-02-22T02:20:00.000-08:00

I think everyone here at Moar Internetz knows of RJ and I's obsession with Christopher Walken.

Dear Raptor Jesus did I almost shit a castle laughing when I saw this.

IF YOU THOUGHT KATE BUSH WAS EPIC

2009-02-20T01:43:00.001-08:00

OH MY GOD
JEEPS FLIPPING
BITCHES SLAPPING JACK BAUER
PRESIDENT DRAMA
DAUGHTERS WHO HATE THEIR PRESIDENT MOTHERS
CRAZY PEOPLE
FBI AGENTS
FBI WHORES
JANEANE GAROFALO
CHARACTERS FROM HELLA DAYS AGO COMING BACK AND MAKING ME SHIT BRICKS
FINGERS BEING CUT OFF
ASIANS BEING KNOCKED OUT WITH GUNS
ALCOHOL
DUMB WAITRESSES

IF THIS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU, PLZ SEE A DOCTOR.

Kate Bush is epic.

2009-02-19T16:54:00.001-08:00

Don't hate

WHAT THE HELL

2009-02-18T15:05:00.000-08:00

This 13 year old british kid had a baby with his 15 year old girlfriend. WTF HE LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING 5 YEAR OLD! I am so confused. This is awful. I'm not down with teen pregnancy and i'm certainly not down with pre-pubescent pregnancy? Is that even right? this is on the same level as the knock off Angelina Jolie woman who had the octuplets on top of the fact she has 6 other kids and NO JOB.

So

2009-02-18T14:56:00.000-08:00

Melvin the bunny is back. Now where's the others? Maybe we need more writers.
I feel like we should get more writers and I kind of want to move to a different host. I

There are plenty of clothes I could probably live without

2009-02-17T22:41:00.000-08:00

The "Keep Watch" Leggings from Mishka's Spring '09 Hallelujah collection are NOT one of them.

I've been playing down my wardrobe lately, keeping everything simple and cute as possible, while still being cuter than everyone else. I haven't touched my leopard jeans in months. I figure it's time to start working my personality more than my clothes/work with them more together. Okay back to the leggings, they are amazing. I don't care how simple and cute my wardrobe may get, i will probably always love crazy leggings. I saw a picture of adorable LA dj Gina Turner wearing them like a month or two ago and I was wondering why I had never seen them on the Mishka site before. Well, they are on now the Mishka site. Now they just need to come to all the fun little boutique stores in San Francisco so I can be happy.

MishkaNYC.com

Panda-monium!

2009-02-16T00:29:00.000-08:00

So I have managed to make my life just slightly more.... hectic. Me and my big mouth now have to make a 6th grade girls softball team's banner. Long story shortened: I'm with my ma, brother and lil sis at the first meeting of my sisters softball team. The mob of screaming preteen girls have to choose a name for their sporty spice team (btw I thought sporty spice was an awesome name for a team but again these are girls who have been listening to Hannah Montana for the last two years so creativity and irony are kinda on E right now It was an even tie between The Screamers (I was TRYING to not be a perv but come on... the screamers? big NO NO!) and Purple Power Rangers. Tie breaker? The Sceaming Power Rangers. Not to psyched about it but I stay quiet and wait for the God awful meeting to come to a close. Oh but not so. The coachs' wife (Who just happened to be a past nightmare teacher from my 7th grade history class) stands up and tells these poor girls that they will be made fun of with a name like that and to make up a new one... afterall shes around middle schoolers all the time and she knows what kids make fun of. SO after debate the team is named Pandemonium. Me and my brother both are brain dead from all the youngun estrogen flying around the room and start discussing how funny a giant godzilla status Panda squishing benicia with baseball nunchuks (sp?) would be as a banner. Needless to say I will now be using my artistic talents to do just that. Fuck a Duck. I'm thinking a manga status pissed panda, cutsey in all its huff and puff. Yes or No? oh and yesterday as I was curled up with my boy I realized something....

HELP!

btw, back to one job so I'll be posting more! YAY!

WHUT.

2009-02-15T23:33:00.000-08:00

I cannot tell you how hard I laughed at this picture.

Because I didn't laugh at all.

I sat there for ten minutes, jaw dropped thinking, "how did I not see that before?"

Lessons in French from the Most Official Bitches.

2009-02-12T14:44:00.001-08:00

French Melissa is so cute.

Courtesy of Mobliving.com

And I want any of my fly girls/gays to go buy Married to the MOB Clothing.
Marriedtothemobnyc.com

LOL diddy.

2009-02-12T14:20:00.001-08:00

Finds a single in his cashwad and is shocked/confused.

Rich bastard

Deep Fried Coca Cola

2009-02-11T18:50:00.000-08:00

0_o moar at http://www.wftv.com/foodnews/9789814/detail.html

OH GOD LOL

2009-02-11T02:29:00.000-08:00

Ludacris told Blender magazine that he loves Twitter.

If you find his Twitter, let me know.

What the hell is up with my current infatuation with Ludacris?

"No officer, I do not."

2009-02-11T01:57:00.000-08:00

The story on how I got out of ticket numero dos, however, this is my fourth time being pulled over:

Officer: License, registration and proof of insurance please.
Me: [hands over the stuff] I know it says the insurance and registration are expired.. but my mother just moved and has the current documentation with her. (This is a lie, it's somewhere on my dining room table.)
Officer: Do you understand that you have to have these documents in your car at all times?
Me: Yes officer, I do.
Officer: (Who was rather cute, btw) Do you know why I pulled over you?
Me: [shakes head] No, no I do not.
Officer: What's the speed limit on the freeway?
Me: Sixty five.
Officer: I caught you doing eighty. Why were you going eighty?
Me: I.. I must have dozed off, I'm sorry. I had a long day at work.. I've been there for almost.. (I was going to say twelve because I'm dumb so I said) ..hella hours, and I just.. I'm tired.
Officer: And where exactly do you work?
Me: Hollywood Video. I'm a manager there.
Officer: Do you know the speed limit on Calle Real (the street HDub is on)?
Me: To be quite honest Officer, I do not. I just moved here.
Officer: Well, where you were zooming down towards Fairview, you were doing fifty. The speed limit is twenty-five. I've been following you since wayyyy back there. [smiles and laughs lightly] And then you got right on the freeway and went to doing eighty.
Me: [laughs]
Officer: [looks down at my information, then back at me] So if you want to pay $300 for a speeding ticket (which I have before, almost said I did, but thank god my conscience was like LOL DONT SAY THAT HE'LL KNOW YOU'RE BEING LOLDUMB), and I'm sure you don't want to do that.
Me: [shakes head]
Officer: [hands me back my stuff] So.. have a good night.

HOW DO I DO THIS MAGICZ? IVE DONE THIS SO MANY TIMES I DON'T UNDERSTAND. WHY DO COPS LIKE ME.

Whoopi Goldberg is the only person who could ever get me to attend church willingly

2009-02-10T16:01:00.000-08:00

Sister Act is such a dope movie. fucking classic. Whoopi Goldberg as some mob boss' Lounge singer other woman getting caught up in some shit and being stuck in a boring San Francisco convent and making it all dope and shit. I'm not even into church hymns but this one is crackin' I've had this song stuck in my head all day for no reason.

Why i love thrift shopping

2009-02-09T11:23:00.001-08:00

Well i love thrift shopping because i love wearing Pendleton wool. Pendleton wool is a company that produces a lot of stuff but i love there 100% wool button-ups. they retail for around 90 bucks a pop for the cheap ones, but i find them for 5 bucks all around!!!! Anyway pendleton is also the stuff that Gangsta rappas like Eazy E and Ice Cube use to wear, so i feel even more like a bad ass. So keep looking and you to might hit the gold mine of pendleton.

OH! ps its made in AMERICA!! in oregon!!! so its keeping people in jobs. WOOOO

Cut-It-Out

2009-02-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

Cut-It-Out from Russian-Born designer Yelena Konovalova is so dope. And I've been really growing out of the colorful ridiculous shit lately but how can you not want everything in this collection. All the prints are amazing.

plus the male model is HOT

LOLBAMA.

2009-02-05T07:06:00.000-08:00

Lawl. Wtf is Joe Biden doing? Holding in a shit?

RIP Trash Nasty.

2009-02-04T22:21:00.000-08:00

Trash Nasty pretty much blacked out at a friends birthday party, said some stupid things to his ex's ex. among other people, was almost completely naked, stopped speaking english, and had all his friends thinking I was dead. When I woke up the next morning, unaware of how I arrived at Smoke Room Social's home. I pretty much decided that my "Trash Nasty" alter ego/alternate personality needed to die or something.

Tighty Liberace, who is probably just as cute and disgusting but less retarded, is replacing him.

The fact I continue creating alter egos kind of creeps myself out.

THIS IS SO CUTE

2009-02-04T19:50:00.001-08:00

I want a kid like this!

Trash nasty does has music taste: An Experiment On A Bird In The Air Pump

2009-02-04T13:40:00.000-08:00

Named for an 18th century British painting of a bird suffocating to death or something while people watch, these three girls really keep up that dark vibe. C-bird, X-bird, and D-bird are basically what would happen if Bauhaus were a girl band.

And not to bring race into this but, personally coming from the sf bay area, it's REALLY FUCKING GREAT AND REFRESHING to see 2 filipinas and a nepalese/indian girl making Goth/Garage/Punk rock and NOT acoustic or r&b/hip-hop (I'm not hating, i dig some of it, but you know how typical that shit is). Race aside, An Experiment On A Bird In The Air Pump are totally AMAZING and I cant fucking wait for them to hopefully one day play in the States and preferably NOT at a 21+ venue.

www.myspace.com/anexperimentonabirdintheairpump
www.anexperimentonabirdintheairpump.blogspot.com

So old, but so funny.

2009-02-03T17:10:00.000-08:00

These never get old.

Careful.. you might be next.. BRO.

2009-02-03T01:50:00.000-08:00

Uhm Jung Hwa = Korean Kylie Minogue?

2009-02-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

Apparently.

TRASH NASTY CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER 1: The Angry Whopper is a drama queen

2009-02-02T18:36:00.000-08:00

Upon seeing the commercials for this "Angry Whopper" for about two weeks, I decide is time to try this ridiculously spicy and yummy looking slab of fat. After class today, I ventured to the Burger King to try it. When I get it, I am excited to taste this so-called "Angry" cheeseburger and can't wait to put it in my mouth. I sit down and take a bite... Nothing. I take another. It was a little zesty and I hoped the more I ate the spicier it would get. NOTHING. I was disappointed. It still tasted good, but was not that spicy. I was expecting my mouth to burn like crazy and that I would have to take a break between bites. Not the case. At the most, this "Angry Whopper" is more like a "Slightly irritated Whopper" and needs to get over itself.

I am like rediscovering my old KPOP self.

2009-02-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

This is one of my all-time favorite live performance videos. It's Jo-PD's "My Friend" with In Sooni (she's a Korean Patti Labelle or something. It's actually her old song from like the 70's) at like the music video festival. As you watch it you figure it's just going to be Jo-PD and In Sooni doing their thing. Then he just sits down and Ee-Ji from Baby VOX comes out raps the first verse, Shinji from Koyote (Ask Lady Miss Sonic about them)does the second verse. Then Bada from SES and Ock Ju Hyun from FinKL come out and sing. Then they all sing. It's like a korean Lady Marmalade-type thing. It's amazing.

What's sad, I used to be able to rap along with this entire song in korean.

Behind the Cash Wrap

2009-01-31T01:35:00.000-08:00

I love MoarInternetz, don't get me wrong, but there are so many stupid people that come into Hollywood Video, that I have devoted an entire blog to them.

http://behindthecashwrap.tumblr.com/

Check it out soon for updates.

SOMEBODY KILL HER

2009-01-29T02:56:00.000-08:00

And I love dlisted.com.. "She doesn't even know who Iron Maiden is. She probably thinks its something you buy at Wal-Mart to make grilled cheese."

ALSO.

That guy totally has a boner or something.

HEY RJ, LOL

2009-01-29T02:48:00.000-08:00

I lol'd.

I kinda wanna try this.

2009-01-28T10:58:00.000-08:00

i watched 1000 ways to die on spike, and it was talking about a man who fell on a rattle-snake and it bit him right above his aorta and he died fairly quickly. They interviewed a doctor of some sort and he said that to die from sanke venom it has to go into the blood stream, then he said that you could drink a vile of venom and not die. Thats like ultimate russian roulette. Whos down?

OH LAWD!

2009-01-27T08:33:00.000-08:00

PIGGY!

2009-01-26T13:41:00.000-08:00

I WANT THIS STUPID PIG IPOD STEREO zOMG.

Resignation

2009-01-26T09:23:00.000-08:00

It has come to my attention that I am not fulfilling my duties as a blogger on moar internetz. I henceforth resign my position. Good luck to all of you and my apologies to you guys for not doing my job. It seems I've been apologizing to more and more people lately.

I lol'd

2009-01-22T02:45:00.001-08:00

Lady Miss Sonic's Most Work Week Ever

2009-01-21T10:38:00.000-08:00

- To get promoted, I had to go through a test. The training director got out of her car, and she starts walking over. I look at Christine and say, "why is it that NOW I have to poop?" She just continued to look out the window.

- After my promotion got approved and she left, I looked at Christine and said, "I seriously almost threw up on her," and she asked why. I said, "shit like that makes me want to throw up.. I can barely handle a math test."

- RJ and I went to school with a girl with a beard. I thought I saw her in IV and said, "oh my god wtf is bearded lady doing here," then noticing it wasn't her I added, "oh nevermind, it was just someone as ugly."

- I told Ayleen I was going to make a rap about being a shift lead, and that she should make one about being a GSR, and then I thought to myself, "I'm a shift lead, L-E-A-D! I boss people around and I got my own keys! I can take an hour lunch, cause bitch you won't care.." And then I had to count candy.

- People kept asking about why there were post its on all the candy. I informed them of inventory, and they'd say, "oooh that sucks," and then I'd inform them about how I wasn't doing it, and they'd say it again. It confused me.

D'oh?!

2009-01-20T22:47:00.001-08:00

Alexa Chung is such a bitch.

2009-01-20T17:47:00.000-08:00

And I LOVE it. i love how pissed the panic! at the disco guy looks

Oh lawdy lawd.

2009-01-20T02:26:00.000-08:00

This is me:

This is what I want to be:

lol.

2009-01-19T15:29:00.000-08:00

2008 was awesome, so let's hope for the best for 2009.

Register for your full weekend ticket today! It's already $55! I got mine last year at the last day of the con for like, $20. Hahahaha!

www.fanime.com

BETTER SEE YOU ALL THERE.

DEAR CALIFORNIA HIGHWAY PATROL (who monitors SB/Ventura/LA)

2009-01-19T00:17:00.000-08:00

Thank you sooo much for NOT fucking catching the drunk driver who I reported TWICE who was drinking beer while he was driving. I appreciate you wasting your time on things like pulling over people without bluetooths instead. My bad, I thought you guys were actually concerned about our safety. WHOOPS MY BAD.

I also hope you all collide in the middle of the highway and become a huge clusterfuck of cop cars.

xoxo,

Lady Miss Sonic

I'll laugh at anything about Cholas/chongas.

2009-01-18T16:41:00.000-08:00

The counselor? He has whiteface or something.

2009-01-18T16:38:00.000-08:00

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Soooo

2009-01-15T12:32:00.001-08:00

So the reasoning i have been out of date has to due with the fact that i have no intraweb at the house and i dont go anywhere that does except dvc and dvc was outta school since around my last post but enyway....
i realized that sex on the beach is the best drink ever, but whats not good is sex on the beach THEN a whole bottle of champagne, due to the fact of a seriously bad headache next day.
Thats the sum of my winter break plus INTENSE NICE bouldering comps.
OH next sat a hike to the tippiy tippiy of mt diablo is planned. posting pics right after.
chowder.

LOL

2009-01-15T00:17:00.001-08:00

WHO CAN GET HIT BY A SEMI TRUCK AND KEEP DRIVING?

2009-01-14T22:58:00.001-08:00

DENNIS QUAID

IS SO FOR THE FUCKING WIN

HES GONNA BE IN THE GI JOE MOVIE OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGO MGOM GOMGOMGOMGAM

Buddypoke is like the new facebook superpoke

2009-01-13T23:48:00.000-08:00

I am like the cutest flying homo-bunny man ever!

I'm not sure how I feel about this either

2009-01-13T18:12:00.000-08:00

Koda Kumi and Fergie? I mean, I'm down with Fergie and Kumi's english isn't too bad. God, I am so out of touch with the Jpop scene. It does bother me that this is supposed to be Koda Kumi's Video and Fergie like overrules it. FTL. It's a good song though.

Queen Bitch, Please.

2009-01-13T17:41:00.000-08:00

Naturi Naughton(formerly of 3LW), is playing Lil Kim in the Biggie biopic, "Notortious". I am kind of pissed about this pop reject playing Queen Bitch. But I guess I'll have to wait and actually watch the movie.

OH MY GOD

2009-01-13T14:35:00.001-08:00

PAULA DEAN DRIVES ME MAD.

SAY YA'LL ONE MORE TIME AND SEE WHERE YOUR HEAD WILL BE.

YES, UP YOUR ASS.

Neon Lights, Party People, Revolution.

2009-01-12T00:30:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been living life in one hell of a hot mess hard-partying whirlpool. I don't regret any of it at all. My friends have been amazing. I don't get hangovers anymore. I've kissed way more girls than I have guys lately. The guys just end up disappointing me anyway. I'm basically loving my life right now. My heart is full. I do want a bit more out of life, but I'm happy with it.

My point? I'm really too all over the place to have any inspiration to blog about anything sort of funny.

I'll brb when I have my mind back together.

Don't look under the bed

2009-01-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

I know lolcats are overrated, but some of these cats are freakin ridiculous.

I sometimes imagine myself as the one under the bed (@ the 0:57 mark). That's the kinda cat I'd be.

raaaannnnddddooomm

2009-01-10T23:32:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I disappeared for so long. I was on a search for my left shoe. I just had one thing to say... and that is that this chick BOXYY on youtube... creeps me out. She's an anime character come to life. She seems really fun but kinda scary nonetheless... that is alll

DASH DASH DAN DAN DA DAN

2009-01-10T22:48:00.000-08:00

My life is miserable. No boyfriend, no love, no stepfather anymore, and I really don't even want friends or family anymore. Work is going to suck, work will suck, and then I will get frusturated. School is going to be hard, school will be very hard.

I almost want to an hero.

I'm having a mental breakdown, brb.

Corporate Lies

2009-01-10T14:48:00.000-08:00

I had a discussion with someone lately about this, so I thought I'd share the info. Yes it is pretty old, but it just proves my point still. For who knows how long Apple has claimed that its a safer OS than windows...I would say that too if it was my product. Why would Apple say "Ohwe get hacked just as often if not more than windows....buy our product plz T_T!!!" Yah...right. So take a look, spread the knowledge.

http://tech.blorge.com/Structure:%20/2008/03/28/macbook-air-slain-first-in-hacking-competition-os-x-not-os-god/

Don't believe the lies they use to make you buy their product! Base your purchase on better research.

-Ministry of Truth

Where's Waldo?

2009-01-10T06:14:00.000-08:00

Excuse me, but can you inform me of my existance?

2009-01-09T13:46:00.001-08:00

My interest in Jpop is getting renewed

2009-01-07T20:41:00.001-08:00

Because Koda Kumi is and always will be mad dope.(there are subtitles)
It's totally super-sexual, Girl on Girl action, Boy-on-Boy action, which I have never really seen in Japanese music before. It's amazing.

Lady Miss Sonic Talks About: Ohio and Pennsylvania

2009-01-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

You know, the last few times I've been to Ohio and Pennsylvania, I usually didn't get out that much, so I didn't notice much about the states really. But I really noticed a lot this time.

Ohio:
- Takes ten freeways to get fucking anywhere
I'm serious. Go look at a map of the Cleveland area. Everything is a fucking freeway. OH HEY MOM LET'S GO TO THE GROCERY STORE TWO MILES AWAY. K LET ME MERGE ONTO HIGHWAY EIGHT HERE FOR TWO SECONDS TO GET THERE. WHUT WHUT WHUT. It takes me two freeways to get to San Francisco from my house: 780 --> 80. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH. SO MANY. And it takes me ONE to get to most of Los Angeles. So what the fuck.
- It's fucking cold
I'm talking freezing fucking cold. I'm never complaining about how cold Fresno is ever again.
- People have a lot of time
Why does everybody have so much time for each other? It seems like every night we're at somebody's house having some extravanganza dinner.. thing.

Pennsylvania:
- It has toll roads like a bitch
We paid the $3.75 for the Ohio Turnpike. LITERALLY three miles later, we paid another $3.75, and then a mile later, another $0.75.. WTF?
- It kinda sucks
There's NOTHING to do.
- HELLA ABANDONED STEEL MILLS AND SHIT THAT I HELLA WANNA CHECK OUT AND IT SUCKS THAT I DONT HAVE MY OWN CAR HERE AND THAT IT IS RAINING OTHERWISE I FUCKING WOULD.

Maternity Leave

2009-01-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone! I'm back from maternity leave and my new baby boy is doing better than ever! His name is Failing-to-get-a-job. Seriously. This is way more difficult than I want it to be and this week I'm applying to pretty much everywhere that exists in Concord and Pleasant Hill. I'm also trying to get two of my friends jobs and that's not working well either.
oh, and my next post will have new year's resolutions.

Knives in Miniature

2009-01-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

I have a fucking painful sore throat.

The kind that feels like miniature knives are in the back of my mouth slicing at the little thing that hangs down from the roof of my throat that starts with a u.

Usually, I don't bother with doctors because I have an amazing immune system, but I'm fed up with this particular sore throat. It keeps coming back! I finally called to make a doctor's appointment this morning and they seem to be completely booked. I'm fairly pissed. It hurts to eat/drink/swallow/talk/sing.

Reminds Me of Work

2009-01-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

And I love it when customers complain and I tell them the same thing, "Ma'am, when you were about to rent it, I forewarned you and asked you about the rating, and told you about the game. You didn't listen."

BTW: I can has shift leader now.

Did I ever mention that Kathy Griffin is one of my absolute fucking heroes?

2009-01-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

Don't hate. I would probably do the same thing

Lady Miss Sonic's New Trends for 2009

2009-01-02T18:53:00.000-08:00

I've come up with one trend for the year 2009.

RUNON SENTENCES AND CAPS BECAUSE THEY ARE SO FUCKING COOL BECAUSE YOU CAN REALLY GET YOUR POINT ACROSS BECAUSE NOBODY JUST STOPS READING SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE AND BESIDES CAPS REALLY GET YOUR POINT ACROSS BECAUSE IT'S REALLY BIG AND BOLD AND IN YOUR FUCKING FACE AND IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO FINALLY JUST HIT CAPS LOCK BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I ENJOYED HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY.

Happy New Year from the MoarInternetz Crew!

2008-12-31T10:09:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year! Hope you're partying as hard as we are.

I'm going to drink Slivovica and play Left 4 Dead until the break of dawn!

Selma Blair vs the papparazzi

2008-12-30T19:31:00.000-08:00

Denise Rojas on College students.

2008-12-27T10:09:00.001-08:00

An excerpt from my mother watching Animal Planet's "Animal's Behaving Badly"

Narrarator: "They're gross. They're drunk. They're dangerous. They're horny."

My Mom:"They're college students"

Oh, /p/.

2008-12-26T00:25:00.000-08:00

Me: OMG BEST CAKE EVER
Anon: I bet the Nikon cake tastes better than the Canon cake. OH SHI~
Me: YOU ARE MY HERO.

Nothing ever makes me feel better like

2008-12-25T22:45:00.001-08:00

60% off Brian Lichtenberg. THANK YOU KARMALOOP!

In 5-10 days, those ridiculous hideous shiny BEAUTIES are MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!

Lady Miss Sonic's New Years Resolutions for 2009

2008-12-25T21:43:00.000-08:00

1. Get a boyfriend. Not just a "omg lets date roflcopter," boyfriend, but I boyfriend I will actually like, and will like me back for me.

2. Get good grades in school, and stop procrastinating when it comes to homework.

3. Play as much Left 4 Dead as possible.

4. Lose at least twenty pounds.

5. Start exercising.

6. Drink less soda, moar tea.

AND AMBIEN MADE ME HALLUCINATE LIKE CRAZY LOL.

Trash Nasty's New Years resolution!

2008-12-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

1. Stay single the Whole year. I epic failed that so bad in '08. I'm going to stick to it this time! Basically no one but Raquel is allowed to call me boyfriend for the entirety of 2009. I'll probably epic fail it again this year. big deal.

2. Become an ordained minister (a la Kathy Griffin). So I can marry all my other gays whenever it becomes legal! Why? I don't really know.

MERRY XMAS

2008-12-24T23:30:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from the Moarinternetz team!

(now if people besides RJ, Mel, and I would start posting, that'd be lovely.)

And I hope everyone else's Christmas is better than my shittiest-Christmas-of-all-time.

NO I DON'T FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING RIGHT NOW.

Best Quote Ever

2008-12-23T21:53:00.001-08:00

"Vesnamorphing has to be the scariest concept since North Korea with nuclear arms."

- John Chitmon III

Anxiety Attack Log: #5

2008-12-23T15:53:00.000-08:00

12/23/08

There's a Christmas party. To my understanding, it was only close family. Little did I know, that was incorrect information, and it's actually an open house. When I was opening presents everyone stared at me with cameras and awkward smiles. I finish unwrapping, go to my room, and continue with my anxiety attack. It's still not over.

The Cleveland LOLs:

2008-12-22T14:25:00.001-08:00

I'm in the kitchen and my aunt Jacci said something, and my mother frantically runs in the living room. I look up confused and ask Aunt Jacci, "why did my mother run away?" She replies, "your mother likes old man dick."

My jaw drops and I can't move. I walk into the living room, and look like I'm about to cry.

"Mom.. you like.. old man dick?"

"I LOVE old man dick!"

"MOTHER NOOO!"

"THE WEATERMAN'S NAME IS DICK."

"Ohhh.."

Bunny Lately: 12/21/08

2008-12-21T22:15:00.000-08:00

-Rachel texts me yesterday saying "GUESS WHAT! I'm an auntie again" I reply "Oh Cool! Tell your sister I said congrats!" She sends me one back saying "um, its my brother's first kid" Confused I write her back "But I thought he was uber gay".... oops, wrong brother.

-Andre comes over and after repeatedly trying to bring up the metallica concert he went to last night. I ignore him and continue reading my book. Finally he just says "Oh my god, I'm so sore from last night" I glance up and say "thats what she said" and go back to my book.

-I woke up to my mouth hurting. I try to replay the events of the previous night and can't think of any reason why it would hurt. I then realize I must have swallowed the ball to my tongue ring and the exposed bar was tearing the shit outta my mouth. I'm kinda worried as to where the ball is in my body now.

-I look at my schedule and see that I'm suppose to work not only christmas eve night but christmas morning as well. Since I worked Thanksgiving I'm obviously extremely pissed. While talking to Moe I mention how my boss, Alice, just must really hate me or something. One thing for sure was that she was stupid and unfair. I notice my boss is standing a few feet away from me and must have heard everything I said. Later I glance at the schedule again and see that my name has been scratched off the work christmas list. I figure either she felt bad about what she heard or she somehow found out I'm her secret santa and wanted a better gift.

pretty much I'm a workaholic who has little to no life.... go figure

Trashy Lately 12/21/08 : "It's a stellar herpes rash!"

2008-12-21T13:41:00.000-08:00

-I am at Target and talking to Virgil on BBM. I am wearing my Ksubi lightning bolt sweater and looking at clothes. Realizing how much said sweater is worth compared to the fact I am looking at clothes at target, I tell virgil "I am wearing a $200 ksubi sweater and looking intently at Target clothes. I think this is a sign I need a job"

-Nick, Tyler and I are having a video game filled sleep over. I go into the kitchen singing MGMT's "Electric Feel" I cite the lyrics as being "All along the western front, people bend down to receive" Confused, I stop myself, look at Nick and say "There is no way those are the right words"

-Alex and I are sitting in her car at the truck stop and we are discussing finding jobs. I interrupt her to tell her there is a cloud that looks like an alligator. She yells "Oh my god it does look like an alligator!" I announce "It's a sign telling us to apply at Lacoste!"

-Alex and I are still sitting in her car at the truckstop when she yells "Look at all the stars!" I do not see any. She points to the fact that there are a bunch clustered in one part of the sky. I yell "It's a stellar herpes rash!"

-I am in the car with Virgil, Mike and Allison. I am dozing off when I hear them mention someone named Donald. Confused, I ask "the duck?"

-Virgil, Mike, Allison and I are driving to Value Center in Vallejo. We are screaming random things out the window. We drive by some guy on a bike and I announce "You're half elf!" 5 seconds later when we arrive at Value Center, I walk to the door and said guy on bike is right there. I run inside and hide in the mens shirt aisle.

-I found real Marc Jacobs pink skinny jeans at Value Center for $15. I am that cool.

-Tatjana informs me over BBM that ISO hair straighteners are buy one get one free. I convince her to buy one and give me the free one for christmas. She agrees. Half an hour later she bbms me "If you break it, I will beat you with it. And so will your mother." I ask "My mom texted you?" she replies "yes. Do not break it!"

-My grandma gives me this supposedly fake fur jacket. I am amazed and in love with it. I tear the lining to remove a pair of shoulder pads, and realize it is real fur. I get upset and bbm tatjana "The jacket is real fur! I am so upset now. I mean with leather it's okay because cow farts are bad for the environment but whatever animal this used to be was probably cute!"

-Elizabeth returns from Boston and I make a comment about how she looks like a trendy 35 year old with her scarf and peacoat. The rest of the night she looks at me and yells "You called me a trendy 35 year old!" then hits me with the pocahontas barbie steve bought her for christmas.

-Lately my dad has been freaking out and telling us to close the doors to the garage EVERY time we walk through them because "all the cold air rushes in." Alexis and I do not understand what he is talking about. Alexis yells "It's not like all the cold air from the north pole is going to rush in at once!" My dad retorts "Yes it does!" I reply "No it doesn't! Don't you have enough fat on you to keep you warm anyway?" Everyone stops talking.

Lady Miss Sonic's Most Airbourne Week Ever

2008-12-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

- I was at the airport, where I thought I saw David Haselhoff. I looked at the guy next to me and asked, "hey, is that David Haselhoff behind us?" He nodded and said, "Yes, and every five minutes I'm going to say Haselhoff to see you freak out again." He was cute. He looked like Ed Norton. I later got a pic with the Hoff. Will post later.

- I was talking to my stepdad, Bryan, and some drunk guy poured him more wine, and spilled it a bit. The drunk guy goes, "oh, sorry about your spillage." Bryan replies, "it happens to the best of us." I slam my head on the table and yell, "that's what she said!"

- My mom takes two shots of slivovica, and I tell RJ, "My mom just took two shots of slivovica at the same time, and that's 180 proof, oh shit, she's going for a third." He says, "I wish I was there to drink some sloppyvaginica with you!" I laughed and he said, "with something that strong, it's gotta be called that."

- My mother and I are looking at the DSW website. I didn't feel like clicking next page fourty-two times so I clicked see all, and my computer froze. My mother said, "that wasn't a good idea." I looked at her and said, "but waiting for it to load to see 686 shoes all at the same time is."

- Trista, the woman I met and befriended on the plane said, "this whole no more than 3.4 ounces of liquid on planes is bullshit. All it takes is two drops of cyanide, and you can get a mask from the people down there." I thought about it, and damn was she right.

- Sarah Morrison's blackberry trackball is falling out. It reminded me of the time when RJ's fell out. I then realized how miserable the woman must be.

- I convinced my Aunt Jacci to get a blackberry curve. I asked her how she liked it. She said, "I don't know it 100% yet. It's an intimidating device."

- I called Ryan to tell him about the Hoff. He said, "WHAT WHAT NO WAY. LIES." So I sent him a picture of a picture. It was fuzzy and pixelated, but no matter what condition any form of image of the Hoff is, you know it's the Hoff.

- Later, Christine sent me a picture of Anaconda 3 with David Haselhoff. I lol'd.

- Bryan kept trying to get me to smoke in front of my mother. My mother looked at him with a death glare. He stopped.

- My mother put too much food on Bryan's plate, and he couldn't finish it all. I looked at him and said, "you better find a way to finish that or my mother is going to cut your balls off." Two minutes later, my mother is found screaming at him.

- I look at the darts in my mom's room, and shrug, perplexed. Ernie says, "she's on a dart team. She made some woman cry." I didn't know what to say, so I looked at my mother and said, "you're like the Sarah Palin of darts."

- My aunt Jacci just recently got a breast reduction surgery, as did I about a year and a half ago. I tell her, "you can't buy underwire bras." She looked at me and said, "no, I'm allowed." I said, "no, it's not that you're not allowed, it's that when they do the surgery they make your boobs perky, and when you wear underwire your boobs push out evenmore and they're titties on a hammock." Her and my mom looked at me, and their jaws dropped.

SHOES OMG SHOES OMG SHOES

2008-12-21T12:08:00.000-08:00

http://www.dsw.com/dsw_shoes/catalog/product.jsp?index=608&category=cat20006&prodId=178459&brand=

.......

Honestly, the only thing I could compare those shoes to was.. a couch.

I MET DAVID HASELHOFF ON MY FLIGHT. WTF HE FLIES SOUTHWEST. Will post pics later.

BWE will come eventually as well.

WHUT

2008-12-20T09:20:00.001-08:00

AIRPORTS ARE BORING.

WHERE ARE ALL MY CO-WRITERS.

UMM..

I'M BORED.

THE LITTLE KID THAT JUST WALKED BY ME WAS REALLY CUTE.

I THINK CODY IS GOING TO CONTINUE SENDING ME PICTURES OF BOARDS NOW.

ALSO:

http://politicalirony.com/2008/11/30/robin-williams-on-obamas-election/

LOL.

The Best Night of My Life

2008-12-18T02:19:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday night I drove up to Fresno with Christine and Kenny. I dropped them off at Brandi's house, and called the love of my life (who will remain unnamed, but its not like you'd know him anyways), to see if he was down to chill.

It was about half past midnight. He gave me the address and the gate code, and I made my way in. He opened the door and my heart stopped. I wrapped my arms around him, and he held me tightly. He led me to his room, and we talked for a bit, sitting next to each other on the edge of his bed. He layed down, and I lay across his feet as we began to watch the movie he had selected.

I complained about how he was kicking me. He laughed and said, "well, you're laying on it wrong."

The love of my life had a girlfriend. And as mentioned before, that wouldve been me if I hadn't made some stupid mistake. I didn't want to burst his bubble, or make him feel uncomfortable.. But I listened and I lay parallel to him, just distant.

As time passed by, we lay closer and closer to each other.. One arm under my head, and the other around me, either around my waist or caressing me in some way.

He went on his computer at one point, and I fell asleep. I then sometime later felt his hand rubbing my side, touching my hair, and tickling me lightly. I pretended to be asleep, but then I gave in and looked at him. His smile always made me melt.. That entire night it seemed like we always had to be either holding hands or in each other's arms..

There was no sex, no inappropriate shenanigans, no kissing.. Just holding and caressing.. And let me tell you, it was the best night of my life. For years I've been wanting to be held in his arms..

But now I go back to crying.. Crying until the sun comes up because, well, he's not mine.. And he probably never will be.. But I know he knows that I will always love him, and I will be right here if he ever changes his mind..

To add to the jizz in my pants hype

2008-12-17T11:26:00.000-08:00

Happy 32nd birthday, Lady Miss Sonic! I have no clue when you're getting your heartsrevolution tank! AND WHERE THE FUCK DID ALL MY WRITERS GO?!?!?!

This is why I hate the Hyphy Movement.

2008-12-17T09:56:00.000-08:00

The reason I try to dissassociate myself from the bay area is partially because of the hyphy movement and the way they try to associate themselves with "punk rock". I mean I'm all for genrebending music and some of them may actually listen to some actual punk. But it's really created a whole generation of ghetto-ass hood kids rockin band tees (that they don't even listen to at all let alone even like) and vans or brightly colored nikes.When they announce to the world "I am so punk rock,nigga. got skulls on my belt, this shirt from hot topic, vans that go hard and my full zip hoody nigga i'm a punk rock star mayng!" I want to kill things. I could play a ramones or like dead kennedy's or crass or misfits or whatever song in front of them and they'd be like "What the fuck is this shit? play something that slap, nigga!" How about I take you and your dope-fresh clothes and clean nikes into a moshpit at gilman and see how fucking punk you are?

I don't mean to sound close minded or whatever, I'm aware there are plenty of these skate boarding litte ghetto kids who can actually hang with the punk and rock scenes. And I wish I was around them more than these ignorant dumbasses I see everyday. I don't identify as punk or anything but I love punk crap in general. It's all been rather inspiring to me, which is why the hyphy movement's complete destruction of the word punk pisses me off.

And There definately are a few rap artists that I do consider fucking rockstars in a fucked up way. Lil Jon is a fucking rockstar. Lil Wayne is a rockstar. Hell, Lil Kim is a fucking rockstar in my eyes.

Confessions, yes?

2008-12-16T18:35:00.001-08:00

Confession #15: I've been of age for what, four days? And I feel like seventeen was so long ago.

Confession #16: I feel that on my 18th birthday I aged three more years instead of one. I feel a lot older than I really am. It's really weird.

Confession #17: Every time we lock eyes, my heart sinks to the bottom of my feet, and I get really nervous.

Confession #18: "Jizz in my Pants," is one of my most favorite songs.

2008-12-16T03:37:00.000-08:00

Yet again ze Canadians prove that their humor is vastly superior.

DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS?

2008-12-14T23:59:00.001-08:00

Prop 8: The Musical

2008-12-14T17:21:00.000-08:00

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black

WAT

ABSOLUTE FAIL

2008-12-11T18:17:00.000-08:00

The blackberry flip phone goes against everything blackberry stands for. I hate flip phones in general. I hate phones that dont have a full Qwerty keyboard in general. This is absolutely disgusting.

This bird is my twin.

2008-12-10T23:09:00.000-08:00

See? I understand this bird. It does weird things, and those weird things change everything and make that bird's perception of everything correct. I understand.

That made no sense, did it.

thechive.com is the best party ever.

EDIT: http://thechive.com/2008/12/she-made-her-boyfriend-lunch-every-day-19-photos/

LOL SICK OMG

This is AMAZING

2008-12-10T22:47:00.000-08:00

I cannot stop giggling long enough to think of anything even half witty

I WANNA MAKE LOVE IN THIS CLUB.

2008-12-10T03:57:00.001-08:00

No Cameras Allowed

2008-12-08T13:05:00.000-08:00

So today bright and early at 11 o'clock i saw my first autopsy, official police activity, at the contra costa county coroners office. it was a sight that i say be seen by all. if your into bio at all, or forensics, you need to try and see one. anyway it was kinda gruesome, some blood, the best part was watching people in the class get freeked out when they cut open the thoracic cavity with tree loppers, and it sounded like bone being broke, actually ironically it sounded like tree branches. the other super interesting part was watching them cut open the skull and pull out the brain. they used a electrical saw to cut open the skull, ive never heard a sound like saw going to the parietal and occipital bones before, i dont really plan on hearing that again. any who he died after having sexual relations with his wife, which is probably the best way to go out, the casue of death was a blockage of the coronary artery, which is also known as the widow maker. so yeah that was how i started the week, gonna be another good one

Mr. Rogen, is it true?

2008-12-08T04:42:00.003-08:00

See, I wouldn't be complaining about fucking Seth Rogen.

I'd love to fuck Seth Rogen.